CURRENT THOUGHTS

I'm having a hard time accepting my life anymore these days. The past several days I've been feeling sad which is nice to feel again I love sadness like a black teddy bear stitched with cold space and night and well at the same time I am not in love with life, for trying to pluck the fruit at the top of the tree of life, I have only been thrashed by all the thorns on the way up, and I really am badly damaged physically, and all my life reminds me of a series of disappointments, despite the value I find in the friendship and family I still thankfully possess, much of my life is painful to think about and full of regret.
This is why the Coronavirus pandemic is really bothering me, for a couple reasons, because it's just more weight on my back and reason to detest society for its idiocy, or accumulated collective rat-trap, which truly has been grinding me down - and now my by now inveterate morbidity has another thing to worry about, not that I am afraid of getting it myself, since I'm not - what I really worry about is harming others as a carrier. But even this I find too much, and I don't want people to suffer at all, but as for this society, this species, I can only hope that the razing of a small portion of the human race can somehow impede the destruction at its hands waged against the earth. This is a very controversial, and possibly immoral or amoral rather thing, but I am displeased (whether I have the right to or not, since I am inherently critical of any spiritual judge set over me) with much of society and would like to see it radically changed. Naturally there is nothing about a pandemic which might not just end up returning things to normal (or worse, even more normal), and really with our life-lines being shut off by the death pangs of a deeply diseased planet, I am doubtful this can still even be imagined - I may have a doomsdayer's mind, but I see nothing more than the violent and volatile paroxysms of a decadent disaster civilization, always affecting most greatly the wretched and poor majority of the earth, the first to be killed by floods, eviscerated by wars, starved by famines, and swallowed by this abyss.
A rude awakening, a rude awakening, very dismaying, very heartrending indeed, and in no ways do I wish for this. Instead, I preach revolution and peace, to sit down and be comforted by mother earth, to stop the cars from rattling all over our minds and souls, to attempt to create a new world together.
But having utopian dreams can be a heavy burden, and it's not doing me much good anymore. See, I kinda wanna die!
Oh well. Rant over. JUST GOTTA get off the old chest. FUCKING CHEST

Social Rant about Society and all its Quandries!!!

Wow I haven't posted on here in forever because maybe I find this whole business alienating at best???? HAHA you know I revel in my insanity, blah blah blah but it's not truly insanity otherwise I would find NO meaning in it whatsoever but yoy know what, fuck that, fuck that! I think the world is still meaingful - if enven there aren't a bunch of angel lobsters guarding us in the sky, I dont care cause it's so much fun to be alive and what IF communism were a true utopian ideal that could be realized? Wouldn't it be a lot better?
Of course it's just wishful to be thinking too much about such things given our objective poverty (whether or not you're materially beneath the poverty line, and fuck any SJW who tries to discount your suffering MERELY BECAUSE you are not economically oppressed, though all the solidaire to them) - ANYWAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH here I am bloggin like a good drunken middleclass fool full of intoxicated dreams and lil eye-faeries and here I go again quack quack quackin and yet it seems to fall flat on the world's buttcheek and well I keep going on, I keep on, though  Itell ya this whole organism is dyin, goin by the wayside, talk about a stale artichoke my nigga, damn, now it's like I haven't had pussy in a long time and not to objectivize ladybirds, I mean, totally autonomous female individuals cisgender females, but damn oh deeeeeear I could say fuck you to a lot of people who ... you know what I dont care about privilege unless... there I go ... why do I digress all the time? I dont know must be some ADHD symptom of our age.
(I have just thought about actual ADHD sufferers vocalizing their objection to me watering down their symptom by casually identifying with it, get that)
Well well well it doesn't matter too much though , it's good to just hold tight to yourself and your loved ones, treat people with respect unless they don't treat you as such, which only means that they're your children and you're their parent. There! Now take care of these damn children with me! Come on y'all!!! Anyways time to drink some more

I am a Hermaphrodite

I am a Hermaphrodite

Ether detachment

I was reflecting on this and I feel that people don't have a well-seated practice of detachment in a metaphysical sense, which means that people don't look at themselves as souls. Now now I dare say that can most cErtAinLy be a problematic view to adopt BuuuTT----- but - the thing is people let their human egos, their physical embodiments, assert a hegemony in the perceptions of social interrelating- that is we don't take people as merely sweltering combustions of senses, sounds, and sexual juices- we actually think that the objective world is greater than the subjective. Sometimes when I intentionally humiliate myself I am simply recognizing this fact that I am just a smorgasboard of sensations- when all the people on the MAX gape upon me, feeling awkward, perhaps wishing that I feel awkward, as I walk up and down the aisle quacking and meowing as if I was a child.

The essence of caves and houses

In what way might a house distinguish itself from the neanderthal beginnings of its predecessor?? Have we not entered an industrial epoch where the only thing that separates a house from a cave is the economic abstractions related to it? The truth is that most houses serve as dens for more or less non communal groups to retreat to- sophisticated holes!

The problem with 'Environmentalism'

The Earth (our mother) is the coagulation of Shit, has been for centuries, millennia even. Now we gotta take care of our shit properly, else it just don't decompose.

SECURE OUR BORDER

The new slogan of 21st century American reaction unfolds from this sentiment. The new modus is: Globalization is a dystopian future, retract into the national embryo. By all means the border must be secured. There is too much osmosis in the atmosphere. Humanity, of course, has always been a regulated organism, but this is on much higher levels. Now the fascist nerve has been upset. People apparently cannot tolerate the Other, as long as it happens in a globalized exchange of virtual identities. There is a surfeit of Being conveyed through the insta-market. So we MUST BUILD THE WALL!

Mexicans undermine the American dream because they are funnels of a larger Colon. Muslims? They are the new Jews, except violent. Poverty of culture translates into poverty of humanity. The great metropolises of America are becoming bizarre anthills. People are violently scrambling to get the New Latest Addition. So Trump plays upon peoples' fear which they ooze out their own consciousness; fear is the most juicy element in Trump and similar demagogues repetoires. It fuels the waking nightmare of thought, the eye gazing over a panorama of American demise. The solution??? Of course! Isolate the so called external agent: life in its greater aspects.